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I became lovers with a sophisticated lawyer I met on a skiing holiday. When we got back to England, I discovered that he was married, but I was hooked by then.

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We carried on together for 11 years, and by the time it ended, it was too late. Our relationship ruined my life, because no one else came up to what he meant to me.

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Why does one like some people and not others? It would be nice to have someone to go out with, but men are not terribly interested in older women. It turns out that the killer was the fortysomething single bloke.

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And you think, great, thanks for that. One of my oldest friends got married at 21 and is still happily married. You go with the heart. Gay culture is so youth-oriented. I can deal with that. Then, all of a sudden, the goalposts move. Now gay people are having it all. So it is awful, really, on some level.

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It does compound the feeling of loneliness. The man I was going to marry was killed on a bombing mission during the war. I met Jimmy dancing. I was 19 and he was But then he was posted.

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Then one day I got a letter from his mother telling me that he was missing — his plane had been shot down. All of them were killed. He is buried in France. You have to meet someone else. I always knew I would the army myself — I served for 22 years. After that, I travelled, and that took the place of marriage. I even went round Borneo in a cargo ship once. Me, as Elizabeth: I like to represent myself. I was in My Fair Lady once and the lead guy had the most beautiful voice.

I have a neuromuscular disability and need the help of a personal care assistant for almost everything I do.

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I have an exhausting, time-consuming routine: getting up, dressed, washed and fed. Despite this, I hold down a career and have friends.

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So in many ways I felt a loner. But the most real part of me is intimate, passionate and generous, and I need to be in a relationship for that to come out. I always thought it was a given that one day I would marry and have children. My friends have partners, so I play a smaller part in their lives, while they play a bigger part in mine. My sisters are twins, three years older than me, so when I was growing up they were always so much closer than I was. I was an only child, raised by my mother and two aunts, all of whom had strong Methodist leanings.

At 19, I fell in love with a girl, but our relationship was platonic.

Spoiler: humor is key.

The next 27 years of my life were taken up with family concerns as elderly relatives got ill, degenerated and died. Funerals arranged: seven.

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Sexual relationships: zero. I did feel a sense of frustration. I felt like a taxi stuck in traffic, the meter clicking away on my life.

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Living alone in my mids, I did have a fleeting romance with a lovely but very troubled woman in her 30s. Alas, there was no chance of it lasting. We're brought up to believe in happy ever after, but what happens if you never find The One?

Illustration: Eda Akaltun.

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Kate Monro. Mary, 85 The man I was going to marry was killed on a bombing mission during the war. Ash, 34 I have a neuromuscular disability and need the help of a personal care assistant for almost everything I do. Stacey, 38 I always thought it was a given that one day I would marry and have children.

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