My pal Matt from XpatMatt. I always wanted to catch a glimpse of Thai girls doing vaginal acrobatics. Purely for journalistic purposes of course. On my birthday. Somehow it all seemed appropriate. But more on that in a bit. First off, you must understand, everything I know about vaginas I learned from Orange is the New Black.
True Story. So yes, my knowledge of lady bits is probably hovering around a seventh-grade level. For the uninitiated, a ping pong show is when a woman shoots ping pong balls out of her vagina. Oh no. The vadge is capable of so much more.
All manner of articles can be inserted, retained, and ejected from the vaginal cavity.
Darts, cigarettes, small animals — you name it. Ping pong shows are one of the more popular Pattaya attractions, and tourists come in droves to be disgusted, amused, and occasionally aroused at the marvels undertaken by the nether regions of Thai women. And I do consider myself to be open-minded, I mean, I have been kissed by a ladyboy in Koh Samui before. Now how exactly can I describe Walking Street in Pattaya to you?
Banana, Banana! Pattaya nightlife is blinding neon with a disco beat, and with more drunks than an open bar at an Irish wake. You want live sex show? A stern looking older lady approached us, showed us to our seats, and handed us a rather large menu with all sorts of fancy hi-balls and cocktails. Many of the dancers seemed bored out of their minds.
Since photography and video are strictly forbidden, Matt asked one of the waitresses for a piece of paper and a pen so I could take notes during the show. You want to take notes? Of course somewhere during the night I lost that coveted piece of paper. Is this how the Vagina Monologues started?
That was my first thought, but no, this is where a Thai girl puts pussy to parchment. I think he handed her a Pattaya ping pong note as a tip, but for genuine pussy penmanship, I think he got off easy. I bet that went straight on his fridge back home. Kickbacks from Coca-Cola? Or is it only Thai women? Does vaginal strength like that come with practice? In any case, one of the infamous Pattaya girls opened a bottle of Coke with her vagina. Not much fanfare, and it was all over pretty quickly. Just when I thought I had seen it all.
I figured that the candles would be on a cake, or perhaps a muffin I mean, how appropriate would that be? This was what I came for. The main event. The ping Pattaya ping pong ball extravaganza. ant Mom asked for a volunteer from the audience to hold the ping pong paddle, but since no one was offering, she ended up taking the helm of that task herself. A Thai girl made her way to the stage, laid down on her back, planted her feet firmly on the stage floor, then arched her back up so her lady bits faced ant Mom. Then she started shooting ping pong balls out of her vagina, just as advertised.
The sloppy popping sound got to be a bit much after a while, and like most in the audience, I was glad when it was over. And so on it went. Smoking a cigarette through the vagina. Removing what seemed like 20 feet of silk from the vagina.
Breaking balloons by shooting darts from the vagina. And so on and so forth. If I had one complaint about the show other than the whole disgustingness of it allit would be that there was very little explanation of what was going on. And so on.
A little bit more M. But then I suppose the mystery of it all would suffer. And what is art if you take away its mystery? There was very little interaction from the audience members as well. ant Mom asked for volunteers during almost every act, but she was the one who ended up swatting the ping pong balls, holding the balloons, etc.
Most of the audience seemed to be enjoying the show about as much as the Thai girls performing did. There were more stony faces than Easter Island in the room that night.
There were a few couples, a group of Middle Eastern men, and a couple of single girls. No sleazy old men, at least not while I was there. Just folks desperate for things to do in Pattaya at night. And no one seemed to get turned on by the show, not in the least. I think horror with a dash of disgust were the popular emotions that night. There was a certain detachment among the customers that night as well, like we were all watching a documentary about sex workers instead of actually watching sex workers.
SCAM ALERT: Another scam in Pattaya involves taxi drivers — they tend to hover at the end of Walking Street and refuse to turn on the meter, charging you up to 4 times what it would normally cost to take you back to your hotel.
Since there is no Uber in Pattaya yet, one way to avoid this is to use the GrabTaxi app. If you use my referral link herewe both get up to 8 bucks off our next ride. I know I did a lot Pattaya ping pong joking here about my experience at a ping pong show and the absurdity of it all. The reality though is that many of those Thai women find themselves working as GoGo girls as a result of poverty and due to circumstances beyond their control. Some of the women are the products of domestic violence, lack of a proper education, and in many cases, drug addiction.
There are also a host of dangers that the women face by inserting foreign objects into their bodies. For a sobering of some of those hazards, read this story from the Pulitzer Center detailing the disfigurement of a Bangkok sex worker, who had razor blades lacerate her vaginal wall during a police raid of her establishment. These women are not objects. So if you want to go to a ping pong show, please be respectful and remember that many of these women would rather be anywhere else.
It compares all the major travel booking sites to find the lowest price on offer, plus there are no booking fees. Tags: PattayaPattaya nightlifeping ping showsThai girlsThailand. address:. I thought you were gonna talk about the Ping Pong game- Table Tennis.
What a pleasant surprise. There were ping pong balls AND ping pong paddles, so all the elements of the game were there. I hear so much about it and almost went myself out of curiosity but decided not to in the end. Not sure if I can handle it! I know exactly what you mean. A great expose and the seedier side of Thailand that everyone know exists but hardly anyone blogs on for fear of condemnation. Loved your fun light-hearted approach to the topic.
Thankyou for including a note about being respectful at the end … still … interesting! Sounds similar-ish to the sex shows I saw in Amsterdam — those girls too looks bored out of their minds, and it was so choreographed to the music you could tell they did it on stage everyday.
Hahahahaha omg. I love this post. I was going to go to one while I was in Thailand as well but I ended up not having enough time when I was back in Bangkok. That definitely made for an interesting read!
Yeah, that has to be some bored people to come up with that haha! Sill, I pity those girls, I hope they can escape that life and live a brighter future. Thanks for commenting Mai — yeah I felt bad for those Thai girls as well. I hope their government could do something about their poverty and employment issues and address it.
Those ping pong shows can be fun, but there are some horrendous things too. I just saw one of the thai girls show. But no, trafficking sex slavery is world wide and includes our daughters and sons in the US and other western nations. Please work to stop this! me up for the newsletter!