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We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five—we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation.


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What are the keys to effective communication? Well, research on what makes marriage work show that happy and healthy couples have a ratio of positive to negative behaviors in their relationship. This means there are five times as many positive interactions between happy couples i. On average, couples spend only 20 minutes a week talking with each other. To change this, turn off the technology and make it a point to spend minutes a day catching up with each other.

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2. the principle of physical touch: it is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.

In all aspects of life, communication is key. But how can couples start on that road to understanding and better, healthier interaction?

Here are eight traits that all happy marriages share. A simple notetext messageor compliment can go a long way in a relationship, Robinson says. No matter how things are going in your marriage, good or bad, if you criticize your spouse aloud, there will be flare-ups.

When criticisms are presented in this fashion, your partner can take them, process them, and formulate an answer, rather than just firing back a retort. I think direct criticism is to be avoided completely. But if you need to say something, do it in written form.

The importance of communication in a relationship

Research shows that happy couples who practice a ratio of positive to negative behaviors are more likely to be happy and healthy. Robinson does agree that that sentiment has shown to be true, but also acknowledges that very few married couples realistically practice that.

However, he says that saying positive statements out loud on a regular basis helps build equity in a relationship and can be key in diffusing arguments down the road. So that, when you need to make a withdrawal because of life circumstances or stress, you have something in the bank to withdraw from.

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A marital disagreement can go from a spark to a five-alarm blaze with one wrong word. To keep that from happening, Robinson recommends putting the brakes on a disagreement before it gets out of hand.

You can say a lot without saying a word just by holding hands or giving a hug. What you say during an argument matters.

Robinson recommends getting curious. Please try again.

They're essential for a long lasting union.

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By Jeremy Brown.