Dating your best friend expectation vs reality woman seek boy for courtship
No matter where, how or why you've come across this new love interest, the prospect of a first date is always exciting. Whether it's a friend of a friend you met a house party, someone you shifted in the wee hours of Coppers, or a Tinder match, this one meeting has the potential to change your life. And that's always a little bit thrilling.
When I was a teenager, I desperately wanted a boyfriend. Throughout the years I had massive crushes on several different boys, but being incredibly shy, I had no idea how to act on my feelings.
Looking back, I realize it wasn't necessarily a relationship I wanted, it was merely for my feelings to be reciprocated. With time came experience, and with that experience came understanding.
The biggest misconception I had was that all a relationship required was an "I like you, and you like me. It turns out there's actually quite a lot that goes into a relationship. Having that feeling of like -- even love -- is only the groundwork of something that requires quite a bit of serious commitment and understanding.
It's okay if it's not, though. You do not need pain in order to have passion. The two do not go hand in hand. A lot of epic love stories are actually unhealthy. Your relationship is what you make it. There's just something missing from your life, you know?
You don't feel whole or complete; you're bored easily and just don't quite feel fulfilled. Finding someone to love and who loves you back will definitely fix that. The only lasting happiness that exists is the kind that comes from within yourself. Whether it's simple inner peace or doing things you love, it is your decision.
2. expectation: you’ll meet their friends and find a cute boy to date.
Being happy on your own grants you the ability to make the healthiest decisions for yourself. You choose to be with someone else because you want to, not because you feel you need to. Your partner cannot be your happiness.
Relying on another person to fulfill you will lead to an unhealthy level of dependency. It's also an unfair position to put the other person in, and can lead to resentment or unhappiness. When one of you is invited somewhere, you both go; one of you doesn't exist without another. People get so used to you being together that they think it's weird when you do happen to go solo for a night out.
Your relationship cannot exist without your partner; therefore, you can't either. If you become a "we" and stop maintaining two distinct lives and identities, the relationship risks collapsing in on itself. Relationships form and become stable because of what two people bring to the table. The relationship itself is singular, but you cannot lose yourself in it. It is an entity created by two people, and it will always require two people to maintain it.
Being in a relationship means you've established a set of rules, so to speak. This is what we are; this is what we're allowed to do and this is what we can't do.
It creates a level of understanding that will never be violated. It's highly possible that your cooking is horrible, but he lies about it because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. In return, you probably get unreasonably irritated that he can't put the toilet paper facing the right way. Life isn't perfect and neither are people.
We all make mistakes, and nobody ever gets to an age where he or she suddenly knows all the right decisions to make. Sometimes, these mistakes and misunderstandings are small and easy to get past, and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes, those wrong decisions hurt people you care about. We all have flaws, right? The whole point is doing whatever it takes to be together, right? You should not have to change who you are in order to be with someone you love. If either of you need to change yourselves just to create a relationship in the first place, it is absolutely not a relationship in which you will be happy.
You already have someone who likes doing all the same things as you. Cut out the extra fat; you have everything you need right in the neat little package that is your relationship. As a person, you are incredibly nuanced. You have various interests and desires, and it's important to constantly satisfy those parts of yourself and seek ways to grow and improve.
It's important to have different people with whom you can enjoy and experience different things, as well as to create a solid support system. Your relationship is only one part of your varied life; if you become complacent, you're likely to become unhappy. Love is all you need. How many songs have been written about this sentiment? So many that it's impossible to count.
Love conquers all, and it's a magical force that will get you through anything. Relationships require a hell of a lot more than love. They require trust, effort, understanding, patience and really, whatever you want.
A blog post
What you get and what you give are up to you. At times, a good relationship requires two people to compromise their pride and their desires. It means proving, time and time again, you will support one another during even the most difficult times. Photo Courtesy: We Heart It. By Zoe Siegel.
Simone Becchetti. Expectation: It will make you happy There's just something missing from your life, you know?
#9 denial of truth.
Reality: Relationships are for you to share your happiness The only lasting happiness that exists is the kind that comes from within yourself. Expectation: You and I become "we" When one of you is invited somewhere, you both go; one of you doesn't exist without another. Reality: It takes two If you become a "we" and stop maintaining two distinct lives and identities, the relationship risks collapsing in on itself. Expectation: Things will never go wrong Being in a relationship means you've established a set of rules, so to speak.
Reality: It's a promise to make things right when they go wrong It's highly possible that your cooking is horrible, but he lies about it because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Expectation: You change for someone you love We all have flaws, right?
Reality: A relationship is a two-way street You should not have to change who you are in order to be with someone you love. Reality: It's a supplement to the rest of your life As a person, you are incredibly nuanced.
#10 chips off the same plate.
Expectation: Your love is the be-all, end-all Love is all you need. Reality: Love is only the foundation Relationships require a hell of a lot more than love. Search Close.