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I am hunting for chica who wants Being friends with someone you dated briefly

Take action and your feelings will change. Paul and I had been acquaintances for eight years. When I opened the door to his office one afternoon to offer our usual casual hello, an alchemical change packed a walloping charge through my body.

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Posted March 24, Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. From statements of celebrity splits to impromptu break-up textsto speeches in front of middle-school lockers, there is a notion in our culture that breakups should be sweet and amicable. But does this fantasy ever work out, and is it even wise to try for it? Can you really be friends with someone you dated—even if he knows you better than anyone else? Do any great—or even average—romances ever end by segueing into a strong friendship?

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A few years ago, I attended the wedding of two dear friends of mine. Their wedding was nothing short of a joyful and magical affair, as weddings typically are, but something remarkable stood out at this wedding.

Among the hundreds of family and friends present were some former boyfriends and girlfriends of the bride and groom. Dating could ruin our friendship. This myth has caused havoc in the dating scene. It has paralyzed men from asking certain women out.

It was a lesson many of the other guests took note of. But if you're currently among the majority of people who feel a failed romance necessarily means a failed friendship as well, you might not know how easy it can be to keep things cool.

Incompatibility isn’t the be-all and end-all.

When you go into it with that type of attitude, a date becomes less about what you have to lose and more about what you have to gain. And really, there is lot to be gained in dating. Dating can give you an opportunity to converse and do activities with the member of the other half of the human race—someone who sees things differently than you.

It can teach you how to be open to opinions you may not have considered before. It offers opportunities to learn more about ourselves—what makes you nervous, what makes you laugh, what excites you and disappoints you, and to learn more about how you relate to other people. When we see dating as simply an opportunity to get to know a person who intrigues you and to learn more about yourself, we tend to place less pressure on the situation. For one thing, getting physical too soon could mean potentially dragging out a relationship that never should have been.

Our bodies are wired to associate physical closeness with emotional closeness. Holding hands, hugging, and even lying next to a man can release oxytocin in women—the hormone associated with bonding. Every kiss is not a promise, but it helps if the focus earlier on is on intellectual and emotional intimacy.

This dynamic between physical intimacy and emotional intimacy also means you will be leaving the relationship with that much more baggage; and this makes staying friends with your former date or boyfriend that much more complicated. Being physical is an intimate thing and your ex's new girlfriend is not going to be thrilled about having you around if she knows that something more has been shared.

Not only that, being friends with someone you are physically attracted to is hard enough without having memories of the physical relationship you once shared. Nobody likes to be left hanging or wondering what led to the relationship ending. Women and men alike have been on the end of dating situation where a lack of a call back has left them hanging and uncertain for days.

Proceed carefully or you'll set yourself up for more heartache.

This is no way to make friends. There is nothing more awkward than showing up at a social event to see that date you never got back to. Do you say something? We all are looking for the same basic thing in dating—someone to love and spend our lives with.

By committing to build more friendships and less enemies in the dating scene, I think both women and men would feel less pressure on dates and have a lot more fun. Photo Credit: Erynn Christine Photography.

Or, six reasons why casual dating is actually kind of amazing. These people make dating fun, make life an adventure, and never give up on you. Don't give in to the 'cuffing' mentality—these tips will help you survive and thrive this dating season. Ever wondered what makes your sensitive, analytical friend tick? I have an idea that just might change our dire dating scene and improve life for married couples, too.

Yes, staying friends with someone you’ve dated is possible, and here’s how

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