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The woman didn't respond for 12 hours, after which the man followed up with one word:. As these things often do, the missive prompted a piling on of similar tales of inscrutably weird or profoundly rude dating messages.
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Every woman has had a friend who dated a guy who was clearly bad news, but she just couldn't resist. Maybe, that "friend" was you. And yet, despite all the warnings and red flags, the pull of dating a "bad boy" was just too strong. So, even with all of the s that heartbreak is on the horizon, why do we still find bad boys so appealing?
It may not be politically correct to admit it, but these brooding, macho men can be compellingly attractive, with their downright seductive swagger. We reached out to experts to find out why this allure is capable of taking over our rational thoughts.
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Evolutionary biologists would call "bad boys" hypermasculine, explains Michael R. Cunningham, Ph. They may also be rebellious or emotionally unavailable, says Madeleine A. In the most extreme and negative interpretation, bad guys display qualities of the so-called psychological dark triad, according to relationship researcher and coach Marisa T. Cohen, Ph. Basically, they might be narcissistic with a sense of entitlement and a grandiose view of themselvesMachiavellian callous and prone to exploiting othersand psychopathic displaying antisocial and impulsive behavior.
And yet, sometimes we just can't quit them.
Science, in particular evolutionary biology, partially explains why bad boys can be so compelling. If a girl's inner life is unexpressed, she may be drawn to a bad boy as a way of vicariously expressing her own inner rebel.
Why women find "bad boys" so attractive, even though we know they're trouble
Despite the fact that this quality makes him an unsuitable partner for the long-term, it can make him so attractive, it's seemingly worth the potential pain associated. Norhanie Pangulima, a content ambassador at Hernormcan relate. Similarly, April J. Lisbon, Ed. Especially if women are bored, adds Dr. For instance, hypnotherapist Jennifer Schlueter got involved with a bad boy from another country and culture. Bad boys can seem taboo, which further adds to their appeal.
Melancon, who fell for a bad boy herself.
I had a of people in my life question what I was doing with him, which, in a Romeo and Juliet sort of way, only strengthened my attraction. Women who feel besieged by threats often fall for tough guys, with their disregard for social norms and willingness to quickly escalate frustration to hostility, threats, and aggression, says psychologist Forrest Talley, Ph. Of course, there's no one to act as a buffer if that aggression gets turned around and comes your way. Women are often into fixer-uppers, says Dr. According to psychiatrist Dr. Margaret Seide, M. Unfortunately, due to societal pressures, women are often on an eternal quest for validation and that elusive feeling of being enough.
The pursuit of bad boys is just another example of this. Feuerman says.
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Unfortunately, as Dr. Talley points out, it can be a trap. Women with rejecting, aloof parents or other close family members might be drawn to bad boys, says psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy. Unfortunately, it never works because rejecting people don't suddenly become accepting. We keep playing out the same drama, putting new people in old roles.
Cunningham adds. That said, there are exceptions: Dr. Product Reviews.
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